================================================================================
C:\> CD .. Return to Index
================================================================================
[December 3, 2024]
Please_avoid_terrible_filenames vF F (THE FINAL ONE).xls
Naming conventions and other sources of agony
* * *
There are two types of people in this world: Those who care about naming conventions, and those who name their files 'Final Final FINAL v3 (USE THIS ONE).xls'
This makes me a unabashed naming convention dictator (keeping it PC here) - dicey territory for a recovering perfectionist.
Thanks for reading looks gerat!! Subscribe to commiserate in your latent perfectionism.
* * *
So why am I such a stickler for names? Because what we call things matters, definitions matter, and, in the AI era, all the more so - otherwise brace yourself for garbage in, garbage out on steroids.
If we don't have a common parlance for a thing - then...chaos. Everyday, I see this chaos unfold with KPIs (remember WeWork's 'Community-Adjusted EBITDA'? 🫠), datasets (field names, tables and the like) and filenames (which deserves its own Substack frankly).
The Five (+1) Commandments of Naming Conventions
---------------------------------------------
└─ Thou shalt grant plain english names (see the art world example)
└─ Thou shalt not use your own name ("Nigel's math.xls")
└─ Thou shalt avoid superfluous qualifiers ("TEST", "USE THIS ONE", "THE FINAL ONE, I PROMISE")
└─ Thou shalt have one namer-in-chief and only one (see Airtable chaos)
└─ Thou shalt decide quickly and move on (no perfectionism)
└─ Bonus commandment: When it doubt, make it painfully plain and obvious.
A Tale from the Art World (KPI Naming Chaos)
----------------------------------------
I'm going to borrow a prime example from the art world, where conventional business practices are often, shall we say, wanting... 😫
There is something called an auction guarantee. The gist is a potential buyer can make a pre-arranged bid for something at an auction in exchange for a fee if they wind up not winning the auction. Follow? This is actually how much of high-end art market operates - like the buyer selling insurance.
The problem? No one seems to agree on what to call the outcomes of an auction guarantee. People toss around phrases like a guarantee "getting hit" or a guarantee "won" and different people will say entirely different things to different people 🤬.
There are only two outcomes in an auction guarantee:
1. The guarantor buys the thing; OR
2. Someone else buys the thing (by bidding more than the guarantor)
So when someone tells you the guarantee was "won", what do they mean? Did the guarantor "win" the fee? Or did they "win" the artwork?
Or they tell you the guarantee was "hit". Was that "hit" as in won? But then won what? The thing or the fee? Or maybe "hit" as in got stuck with the artwork they didn't wish to buy hoping that they would get outbid. Blank stares ensue.
I'm putting a pin in this once and for all and I'm calling for senior leadership at Sotheby's and Christie's to get behind me here. Henceforth, it's:
A GUARANTEE BOUGHT: The guarantor BUYS the painting; OR
A GUARANTEE EARNED: The guarantor EARNS the fee
Clear. No ambiguity. A bit of sabermetrics inspiration (think ERA). No more "hit" and "won" nonsense.
The Other Faces of Naming Chaos
---------------------------
Filenames are probably the most common minefield. We all have our cringe-inducing examples)
Spreadsheet Edition
----------------
└─ "Nigel's math.xls" (especially when saved to desktop. What's in there? Who knows?? Let's find out!)
└─ "Budget Master v24 (use this one)"
└─ "Guarantee Outcome Analysis vFF"
- I have a fondness for the vF (+F) convention actually. There is a Scottish expression about what constitutes the last round of whiskey: the final, the final final and the "cast iron final"). Points to the person who uses vCast_Iron_Final in their next model.
PS Hot take: Google Sheets is plain better with this. Use their Version History feature and you'll never use the v24 convention again.
PPS: Underscores (_) are a very touchy subject I've discovered. Some have deeply held convictions that they are too pre-1990s. To be fair, some frameworks still require it (Python). My take, unless you have to, skip it. You can thank Windows 95 for this.
Database (Airtable) Madness
------------------------
Airtable is amazing. But get more than one base owner involved and buckle up for naming convention hell. Prepare for field names gems like: "Guarantees (copy) TEST" and tables like "Guarantee Tracker (USE THIS ONE)"
The Bottom Line
------------
Good fussing over names: When it's clear, we agree on it, it's reversible, you pick in 1 min and move on.
Bad fussing about names: Endless circles. 10 owners of a database.
Remember: Clear naming isn't perfectionism (but getting there), it's the foundation of a scalable system.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go re-organize my C:\ Drive...
(Excuse the typos…)
================================================================================
C:\> CD .. Return to Index
================================================================================